Encouragement Thursdays...# 2: Encouraging our Kids to be GOOD playmates

How to encourage our kids to be 

GOOD playmates...

I never thought I would have to deal with "mean girls" at  4 years of  age and I am so shocked I had to soothe my sweet baby girl after an older child on the playground told her to go away & that she didn't want to play with her.  Seeing her sweet little face streaked with tears and heart broken that someone didn't want to play with her, was heart rendering for me to witness, it still evokes emotion within me writing this.

Pic credits from this site

I don't know if I handled the situation on the playground as well as I should have, all I could do was:

• Calm my baby girl down 
• Tell her know she did nothing wrong  
• she was not the one with the problem
• The other little girls were the ones who had a problem.  
• THEY were missing out on the all fun by not choosing to play with her. 

I calmly told her she was a fun little girl and we were going to have fun playing together, that if I was a little girl I would always choose to play with her.

What a tough concept for a 4 year old to grasp and this was NOT the first time something like this has happened, it is the first time she noticed other children being intentionally mean and excluding her.

I can remember my volleyball coach being furious with us if we didn't practice as hard as we played matches. She would make us run "suicides" or do "maniacs" if she caught us being lackadaisical and yell the whole time,

"You will play like you practice!" 

over and over again. I have often gone back to that phrase & applied it to many life situations and now that I am a mother I see it still applies and it is no different with my kids.

With those words in my mind, my daughter and I were playing and as imaginative as she is that day she was pretending we were lions on the pride lands and she started acting out the "situation" on the playground.  I acted out what I would like for her to say and how I would like for her to respond when she was pretending she was mean, as she told her imaginary friend to "GO AWAY!"

I responded, "I am sorry you feel that way. I will play over here and if you change your mind &  say NICE things to me and play NICELY with me I would love to play with you."

She went on and played out other mean things, each time I would respond,

"I am sorry you feel that way, I will play over here and if you change your mind and would like to say NICE things to me and play NICELY with me I would love to play with you."

After a time we switched places and I was the mean child, only I decided I wanted to play with her after she told me my "I am sorry you feel that way", speech. We did this for quite some time, she really got into it and was so gracious when I changed my mind and wanted to play with her.

My biggest hope is that this kind of role play, "PRACTICING LIKE WE WILL PLAY", better equips her to to handle "mean girls", I don't want her to be a doormat nor do I want her to be a bully or just be mean back.  

Giving the other kids a chance to change their mind allows room for change and hopefully allows my children to be gracious and generous as well as firm as to how they will ALLOW others to treat them.

Linked to Better Mom Link & Growing Home

Encouragement Thursdays...#1 The Miraculous Baby the Fearful Hearted Woman

Welcome to the first of many installments of 

ENCOURAGEMENT THURSDAYS.

 

In an attempt to be more purposeful with my blog and post in a more organized fashion, I am going to assign Thursdays to Encouragement. 

 

This First Encouragement Thursday, is dedicated to my son on his 2nd birthday & to all my fearful hearted friends out there. You know WHO you are, you have been disappointed so many times you no longer have the courage to hope, the dispair felt after being deflated still clings to your soul. 

 

Dear friend, may I encourage you to hang on to that hope, if the Lord placed it there, He WILL be Faithful to FULFILL it!! What we fail to do is release the need to control HOW HE will fulfill that desire...

 

This is the story I tell my son on his birthday, though he is too young to really understand what I am saying, I still tell him his Miracle Birth story each year. As I did with my daughter & her story-the prequel to this "The Magical Baby and the Broken Hearted Woman".  

 

Happy 2nd Birthday Baby Boy Blue Eyes, Momma Loves YOU!

The miraculous baby & 

the fearful hearted woman

 

Once upon a time there was a miraculous baby boy who was waiting to be born. This baby had incredible inner strength and courage. He was created with a will so strong he could over come just about any obstacle life had in store for him as long as he humbled himself before God and allowed God's glory to shine through him.

Each day he would enter the throne room of God and ask, "When will I be born? Is it my time yet?"

And each time God would reply with a knowing smile on his face, "Precious one, it is not your time, not yet"

At the same time the woman whose heart was once broken and now was made whole rocked her precious, magical baby and marveled at the joy she had found in this sweet baby girl.

And God would knowingly smile to himself and say, "You will be blessed in more ways than you can ever image...But now is not the time, no- not yet."

The woman had a secret in her heart she thought she had kept hidden she yearned to give birth again, to give her magical baby a sibling. But after years of barrenness, loss, & heartache she was too fearful to ask God, to even try. So she tried to prevent the miracle of life within her and tucked that hope and dream away on a shelf in her heart.

 God looked at her and shook His head saying to himself, "When will my children get it? They cannot hide their hearts away from me, I created that heart, the hidden places are known to me. There is not one place they could possibly hide, even the darkest place is made light to me- there is no crevice deep enough I could not find or high enough I could not climb."

More time when by and the Miracle Baby Boy entered the thrown room with his beaming smile, and asked God again, "Is it my time yet? "

God knew that the smile the Miracle Baby Boy had been given had healing powers and that the big blue eyes God had fashioned after the sea would melt away the ice caps from even the coldest of hearts.

God began in a gentle voice, "My son your time is soon, prepare yourself for your journey it may not be an easy one, but rest assured I have plans for you my son, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Hold on to my promises, for they NEVER FAIL. Your time is soon, but not yet"

The momma was happy as can be as the Magical baby girl grew and flourished, yet when the night came, the momma tucked away hope and started to place it in a darker corner & on a higher shelf.

God stood by quietly, but this night was different, He spoke out to the quiet part of her soul and asked her a simple question, "IF I intended to bless you, do you think that you could stop it?"

Before she could respond her asked her again,  

"IF I intend to bless you, do you think that even you could stop Me? 

The dreams & hopes you have allowed many earthly fears to block you from believing in 

have already been fulfilled - Doubt me no longer 

 For WHEN I intend to Bless you- EVEN you 

CANNOT stop me!"

At that moment hope sprung from it's shelf she tried to hide away on the highest shelf in the darkest recesses and found it's home in her the center part of her heart where it should have been all along. And she felt the familiar stirring in her belly as God Knit a Miracle against Miracles there, in fact a miracle of the life-giving kind was all ready growing there.

A baby that fought against many odds, and against the doubts and fears of his parents,  was growing and healthy waiting to meet his momma, BUT not yet-his time would have wait a little longer.

On June 26, 2010 a beautiful baby boy with a smile that brought healing and eyes bluer than the sea was born. 

He was amazing and the joyful family that once was heartbroken was now complete a family of 4.

There was peace in the kingdom that short time... yet Confusing and Dark times lingered in the background and tried to shroud the joyful arrival of the Miracle baby Boy.

The momma was sick to her core unbeknownst to all. Once discovered this illness threatened the life of this momma and at times the sickness nearly overtook her. She was lost for awhile & wandered in the desert & lonely places.

The father scooped up his radiant, Magical Baby girl in his arms and tenderly held his lively, Miracle Infant Baby Boy and gazed into his sons eyes that were bluer than the sea & found courage & strength he didn't know he even had there. 

The father cried out to God, "Please we need her, our kids need their momma and I need my wife, please Lord it's not time, no Father, please NOT YET."

A quiet calm came over the father as he held his babies he had believed for and prayed for all those years. A remembrance sparking in his soul that God is good and God is GREAT... in his heart the father knew that her sickness was being healed and she was being restored. Soon she would come back.

After a time the sickness that held the momma at bay was weakening, the echos of her Miracle baby cries were in the distant and her fears started to melt as she remembered who she was. Her eyes opened and she held her Miracle baby Boy stared into his blue eyes finding courage and strength as softly said,

"My son I am here, I was lost for a time, but now I am here, If God chooses to bless me NOTHING can stop him!"

Letter I wrote for Izak's therapists: Footprints that Last a lifetime...

I was asked what was wrote on the letter I wrote for Izak's therapists, I am including this with a gift basket of goodies including: Ginger Bread Hot Cocoa mix, buckeyes, Mini Chocolate Peanut-butter crisps, Coconut Bon-bons, Chocolate covered pretzels, spoon, and giant marshmallows. On the opposite side I printed a vintage looking card and hand cut it with a condensed thank you. Will add the web address to the free printables: http://blog.worldlabel.com/free-printable-labels-gallery. Here is the letter I wrote last night:

People come and go in your life, some walk with you for a time, but the pace they set it too fast and they leave footprints in the sand that are gone with the next wave.

Others come and they set the pace so slow you fall behind and aren't able to progress at the rate in life u need to so you can grow and flourish.  The footprints they leave are so far behind they are forgotten with the next sunrise.

Then there are those who come into your life for a season, that walk with you, encourage you to take steps even when the might be uncomfortable for a time.  They are wise and know these steps will result in growth and development. They cheer you on from the sidelines and are excited as you are as you reach each milestone even when that might be a half step in the right direction. Their footprints in the sand leave an indelible mark that cannot be erased and leave us a path to follow that leads us in the right direction.

These people are the unsung hero's in our lives, the ones that might cry with us as we struggle to achieve our goals and might even shed a tear when we reach them in exuberant celebration....

Thank you for investing in Izak's life and being the ones that leave footprints in our lives that will last a lifetime!